if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
