i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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