Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
