Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
