How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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