did you get engaged???
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My penis needs a shock collar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
