Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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