I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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