I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
