drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
