Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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