Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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