Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
