New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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