You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
