it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
