Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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