she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
false alarm, still single
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