I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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