He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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