Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
