Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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