so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize