3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
