idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
