clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
