I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
