I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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