I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
