Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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