I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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