how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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