How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
