no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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