fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
