How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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