Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
