Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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