We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
