I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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