So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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