Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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