no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
