C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
