I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
