Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
