Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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(281): View more from Texas

i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy

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(925): View more from California

upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

God wants them to get laid too.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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(415): View more from California

Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.

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(407): View more from Florida

It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!

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