Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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