Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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