I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
