i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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