I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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