just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
