You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
