words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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