So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
