We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
