hotel room ftw
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When are your genitals available?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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